Dept of Not Dead Yet
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 06:57 pmIt's been too long since I last posted, or checked in with other folks' journals. My energy levels have been up and down like a yoyo, and even the ups aren't where I'd like them to be. It means that there are some days when I'm happy at having completed one or two things, and there are other days when I can't even get those one or two things done.
I've been active on Discord, but I don't want to hang there all the time, or certainly not hang there to the detriment of some of my other spaces. I'm trying to find and keep friends and friendly acquaintances in different places. You'd think that that kind of adulting wouldn't be difficult. You would be wrong.
I've managed to push through a bit on my writing. I've managed (ihopeihopeihope) to have prevented more mouse incursions. I'm thinking of putting some more of my old poetry up on
I bought the new BTS album and, once again, can't say why I did that. I'd been listening to the album even before buying it (the first actual music purchase I've made in a long time) thanks to all the songs being on YouTube, and I really like it. But I don't understand ... well, much of what's going on in my head these days.
I imagine I'll figure it out.
Love You a Latte: Soulmates Exchange - PDPHs Due April 16
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 06:26 pmEvent links: Dreamwidth | AO3 Collection
Due date: April 16, 2026, 11:59 am CDT (UTC-5) (flexible!)
Fanwork Minimums: 1,000 words (Fic) or a complete work on unlined paper (Art)
To Claim: reply to the latest PH Post on Dreamwidth or email ao3modball@gmail.com with the pinch hit number and your AO3 username. Thanks for your consideration!
PHs Required for Works Reveal:
PH 3 - NoPixel (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF, Runescape (Video Games), 仙王的日常生活 | The Daily Life of the Immortal King (Cartoon)
Additional Available PHs:
PH 1 - 镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018), 镇魂 | Guardian - priest
PH 11 - 崩坏:星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
Kiss the rules of empires past.
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 09:09 pmThrew me right out of the book twenty pages in. I didn't literally throw it because I was in a waiting room, but I certainly stuffed it into my backpack with enough force to count.
It didn't have be bad, either. While it suffers when put next to the other novel I'm reading, Clockers by Richard Price, pretty much everything suffers when put next to that one. But this could be better, and end up as good a possible version of this story as possible. Do more. Try harder. Deepen and broaden your goals. Be better.
I may keep reading out of spite. If this got onto a shelf, then clearly it's not because my own writing isn't good enough to do the same, it's a problem with me not pitching to more agents and the industry being less and less willing to gamble. I know I'm better than this. It's not a problem on my end, and if nothing else, this book is solid confirmation of that.
Me-and-media update
Thursday, April 9th, 2026 12:55 pmIn The whooshing sound as they go past poll, 25.6% of respondents said they generally find deadlines motivating, 28.2% want to hide from them, and 64.1% find them manageable in moderation or under specific circumstances. In ticky-boxes, sunbeams dancing brightly on leaves in the breeze came second to hugs, 66.7% to 87.2%. Thank you for your votes! ♥
Reading
Still listening to The Hymn to Dionysus by Natasha Pulley, read by Sid Sagar. There's an interesting tension between my being 90% sure the POV character is unreliable, and 10% aware that he is familiar with the ancient world and its mores, while I am not, so what if all his wrong interpretations are right?
I'm up to the second-draft section of Refuse to Be Done: How to Write and Rewrite a Novel in Three Drafts by Matt Bell, and I am somewhat despairing. In brief, he recommends: discovery write your first draft for raw material, reverse engineer an outline from it, fix the outline, then write the second draft from the revised outline from scratch. Which makes sense if a) you need to discover your characters and worldbuilding along with your story, and b) you can write from an outline. But when I've tried this in the past, I kept editing the outline until it was a completely different story from my first draft. Also, I don't want to rewrite my fics from scratch, and even if I managed to, I'd end up with a differently not-working draft and have to do it all over again. Tl;dr, there is a lot of good stuff in Refuse to Be Done, but it's not the magic bullet for my writing woes that I'd hoped. Oh well.
Maybe I should give the method a try for something shorter.
Kdramas
I'm currently watching four Kdramas, woohoo!
Andrew and I are watching Phantom Lawyer, which is goofy and kind. I would probably enjoy it even more if I hadn't recently listened to a bunch of episodes of Movie Briefs podcast; now I'm very conscious of the rampant unethical lawyering (your client being guilty does not mean you get to turn evidence over to the police, omg; you can't lie to a client about their case to spare their feelings; etc). Anyway, I'm kind of hoping it doesn't develop a romance; I like the leads as a platonic odd couple.
Pru and I are still watching Love Scout. More this evening. (And I showed my brother episode 1 on Friday, though he chatted through it; is that how normal people watch TV?)
I slipped and fell into a rewatch of You're Beautiful, the 2009 "nun undercover as her twin brother in a boyband" drama that was my gateway drug. It is still ridiculous and adorable. Neither of the leads has two braincells to rub together, and I love them. The second lead is still annoying.
spoilers
The lead is arrogant, impatient, and rude, but when he accidentally overhears his new bandmate talking about keeping the fact she's a woman a secret, he immediately confronts her, demands that she go to the manager and confess, and generally engages with her as an (annoying, accident-prone) person. Eventually he ends up helping her and conspiring to keep her secret. Meanwhile, the second lead guesses from Mi-nam's physical attributes that she's female (which reads very differently to me in 2026 than it did to my clueless younger self!). He doesn't tell her he's guessed, just goes out of his way to befriend her and invite her confidence, and he gradually gets jealous of the first lead. He's "nice", but I do not like him.I also started Lovely Runner, starring Kim Hye-yoon (Extraordinary You) as a Kpop megafan whose idol dies by suicide. She time-travels back 15 years to when they were both in school and proceeds to be extremely in-his-face, leveraging her encyclopaedic fan knowledge of him to try and change the course of history. Kim Hye-yoon is always delightful, so I'm enjoying it so far, but it's early days.
Other TV
The Pitt. Ahhhh!!
Rooster (why do writers on TV never actually sit down and write? or read, for that matter?), Scrubs, Cheers, and about ten minutes of DTF [location] which was enough to know it's not for me.
Fringe and Bluey with my sister.
spoilers for Fringe
We've reached the terrible part of Fringe. Wow, I'd forgotten how bad it gets. I mean, why wouldn't you have one of your lead characters choose to give up her entire personality, life history, and all of her friendships and social and family connections for romantic love? I mean, none of that meant anything much, right? Wow. /o\)Paper Girls and Connections with Andrew and Ed.
Audio entertainment
Bill and Frank's Guilt-Free Pleasures' episode "Crowded House: 'Don't Dream It's Over'". A bunch of relistening to RNZ podcast Conversations with my Immigrant Parents as research for a fic I'm not writing.
Online life
520 Day assignments are out, woohoo! The Slo-Mo Guardian rewatch is kicking back into gear this weekend. I've started a new browser window (window #4) where I'm camping out; it currently only has thirteen tabs. I'm failing at keeping up with Dreamwidth, but hopeful that will change now Writers' Hour is at 8am instead of 10am.
Writing/making things
The last week has mostly been modding, squaring away my Yuletide fic for when I get back to it, making notes for a thing that I'm not going to write after all, and alibi sentences. But sometime in the next couple of days, I'm going to start my 520 Day assignment. This is my resolve face.
Life/health/mental state things
( Cut for length. )
House
I am optimistic that my kitchen windows will be re-puttied next week sometime, weather permitting.
Link dump
Why Greenland is an Island and Australia is a Continent (via
Good things
Hair! My 520 Day assignment! Kdramas! Social occasions (I guess). My sister mended my favourite slouching-around-at-home trousers and made me Brazilian cheese bread. Halle and Andrew and the fact it's not raining or cold.
When dealing with stoic characters, how do you prefer your hurt/comfort?
stoic character stoically/reluctantly/awkwardly receiving comfort
9 (42.9%)
stoic character stoically/reluctantly/awkwardly providing comfort
11 (52.4%)
anyone and everyone hurt!
7 (33.3%)
anyone and everyone comforting!
5 (23.8%)
it depends
10 (47.6%)
none of my characters are stoic/reserved/clams
0 (0.0%)
all of my characters are stoic/reserved/clams
0 (0.0%)
I'm not into hurt/comfort
3 (14.3%)
other / it's more complicated than that
2 (9.5%)
ticky-box of having multiple browser windows open right now
10 (47.6%)
ticky-box full of story structure is my nemesis
8 (38.1%)
ticky-box full of a red panda circus troupe performing for grapes
7 (33.3%)
ticky-box of appreciating being able to breathe through your nose
14 (66.7%)
ticky-box full of hugs
16 (76.2%)
Word: Choc-a-bloc
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 08:32 pm...choc-a-bloc.
1. very full, tightly packed, or crammed together
I found this in my Rebus omnibus.
Yes, we were left a lot of old stuff when we bought this place. The store-rooms were choc-a-block.
What intrigued me was the origin.
The term has nautical origins dating back to the early 19th century. It comes from the combination of "chock", derived from "chock-full" meaning filled to capacity, and "block", referring to the pulleys (blocks) used on ships. When two blocks in a tackle system were hoisted to their maximum, they would jam tightly together, described as being chock-a-block.
Cursed Either Way (From, Jasmine) 489: curse
Thursday, April 9th, 2026 01:26 amFandom: From
Characters: Jasmine
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Whether she joined in with the elders' deal with the Man in Yellow for immortality, or stood out like the couple now called Tabitha and Jade, Jasmine would have been cursed either way.
( Read more... )
Books
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 07:43 pmAlso, I DNF the audiobook veresion of something called Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers. I thought I would like it but it starts off an abusive marriage, and I just couldn't go on with it. I didn't like Vera Wong that much.
So by accident (to replace it) I came across the audiobook version of Tokyo Express by Seicho Matsumoto. It's a modern Japanese police procedural but so far I am liking it. I REALLY liked it when I realized the narrator was Elanor Matsuura and I said 'Holy shit! That's my girlfriend!' Ha, ha, not my girlfriend, but she had a bit part in the Wonder Woman film as Epione and I wrote one of my few genuine femslashes (Carmilla/Laura, of course, being the other) with her and Epione. Then she reappeared as Hopkins in BBC Sherlock. Anyway, I am liking it.
116 ☆ witch hat toxin? marriage atelier?
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 07:21 pmIt's sooo beautiful, I'm so happy. Two episodes dropped at once so we got to see a little bit of the other girls in episode 2, I can't wait to watch more... Obviously it will never be quite AS good as Shirahama's masterful work but the animation was so nice, I think they did a really good job with everything. Coco is so cute! And Qifrey my love...
I hate watching ongoing anime ughhh 20 minutes once a week is not enough!!
Also the anime for Marriage Toxin aired this week too which I totally forgot was happening, but I watched the premiere and I think it was pretty good. We'll see how the next few episodes go, the manga genuinely makes me laugh out loud at times so I hope they get the humor right. Basically the premise is that the heir to a clan of Poison Masters needs to get married and have babies so his gay sister isn't forced to (gay ally Geto canon) but he sucks at interacting with women so he enlists the help of a con artist who commits marriage fraud. It's very silly and very fun.
( minor spoilers for the twist revealed in episode 1 )
Anyway! Assuming both WHA and MT hold up to their manga counterparts, I recommend giving them a go! WHA if you like fantasy worlds with strong worldbuilding and cute characters and themes of like, power and responsibility in society and how regular people/minorities get screwed over. MT if you like romance action comedy shounen lol. This is like a hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby situation lmaooo I promise they're both good at very different things!!
047: Frostbite; Xdinary Heroes; Interlude (Rap Line) (Gaon & O.de)
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 03:29 pmTitle: Interlude (Rap Line)
Rating: PG
Type: Fic
Size/length/word count etc.: 799
Prompt: 047: frostbite
Fandom/Ship: Xdinary Heroes; Gaon & O.de
Notes/Warnings: This is partially their lore, and some of my own head cannon; it comes after Break the Brake.
Summary The practice room should have been open. It wasn’t.
Find the table with the list of fics here
The Girl in the Green Glass Mirror by Elizabeth McGregor
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 03:25 pm
Catherine Sergeant is adept at going through the motions. After losing her parents at an early age, she buried her grief in the study of antiquities. Now, deserted by her husband without warning or explanation, she reports to work at Pearson’s auction house, exchanging pleasantries with colleagues, never revealing her pain. Cocooned in loneliness, she couldn’t be more surprised to find herself opening up to a total stranger—a new client, no less.
In widowed architect John Brigham, Catherine finds a kindred spirit. The two share a fascination with Richard Dadd, an early Victorian painter who lived most of his life incarcerated in an insane asylum. There he produced his most stunning works—works that have deeply moved Catherine and now draw her inexorably to John. Soon the two are falling in love.
The reawakening of passion in a woman like Catherine is more than John ever hoped for. But when she discovers his possession of an unknown Dadd, it is just the first in a series of revelations that leave her wondering if she knows this man who has shown her life’s true beauty. For John, it may be a last chance to free himself from the priceless secrets he has been harboring too long. Secrets about a soul laid bare on canvas, and a legacy that could shatter all he holds dear in the space of a heartbeat…
I decided to read this book because I loved The Ice Child so much. This book has the same lyrical writing and intriguing characters that made the first book so wonderful. There is Catherine and John, of course, but even Robert, Eilzabeth’s husband, and Helen, John’s sister, bring much to the story. All four have their flaws, some deep and disturbing, yet they are integral to the story.
There is much researched involved here, as Richard Dadd actual existed. He really did spend most of his life in an insane asylum. He really did create most of his work there. It adds much to the book, the way the past and present work off each other. Just how deeply is Dadd’s legacy intwined into John’s life? Will its secrets destroy John’s chances with Catherine?
Dadd’s work is really rather creepy and not at all to my taste, so I couldn’t totally understand Catherine and John’s fascination with his work. And because so much does stay hidden through most of the book, I have the feeling that this book won’t be for everyone. It is more thoughts than actions as it comes to its inevitable ending.

Mount TBR 2026 Book Links
Links are to more information regarding each book or author, not to the review.
1. The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky
2. Four Past Midnight by Stephen King
3. The Possession of Alba Díaz by Isabel Cañas
4. The Gales of November: The Untold Story of the Edmund Fitzgerald by John U. Bacon/a>
5. Moon Flower by James P. Hogan
6. The Man Who Saved the Union: Ulysses Grant in War and Peace by H.W. Brands
7. Fires of Eden by Dan Simmons
8. Clytemnestra's Bind (House of Atreus 1) by Susan C Wilson
9. Glory and the Lightning. by Taylor Caldwell
10. Into the Ice: The Northwest Passage, the Polar Sun, and a 175-Year-Old Mystery by Mark Synnott
11. Regeneration (Regeneration 1) by Pat Barker
12. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
13. A Boy and His Dog at the End of the World by C.A. Fletcher
14. Thinner by Richard Bachman
15. The Voyage Home (Women of Troy #3) by Pat Barker
16. The Girl in the Green Glass Mirror by Elizabeth McGregor

A Color In the Title


APRIL - Mirror, Mist, Party, Stray, Light, People, Everlasting, Spell

APRIL- Alliteration Appreciation - Read a book with repeating sounds or letters in the title.
I was reading and I came across the word "pilfer" and I asked myself
Tuesday, April 7th, 2026 10:09 pmPelf sure is a stupid-sounding word, though.
( Read more... )
(no subject)
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 12:12 pmThe car washes I've gone to have all had two tracks you guide your tires on and you zip through. This one was like a baby car wash, half the size. You have to line your left tire up with a gadget near the curb. Anyway, wash guy had me back up, motions turn the steering wheel, back up. I finally understood the system and we were off.
Then I had to deal with more people at the garage. Left the car there and was shuttled back. Gave god awful directions, like I always do. Now I wait for a phone call on the cursed phone.
Poetry month.
Let No Charitable Hope
Elinor Wylie
1885 –1928
Now let no charitable hope
Confuse my mind with images
Of eagle and of antelope:
I am by nature none of these.
I was, being human, born alone;
I am, being woman, hard beset;
I live by squeezing from a stone
The little nourishment I get.
In masks outrageous and austere
The years go by in single file;
But none has merited my fear,
And none has quite escaped my smile.
And Music Monday.
This the first song of his I heard, he was on some late show. I said, that's my guy.
Question to the readers and watchers
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 01:48 pmSince I definitely dragged us down a less happy path, I'm going to invite a question here:
Regardless of creator intent, what CANON had a positive, lasting impression on how you shape the world around you?
(context was some unsavory authors came up)
Answers can be from ANY STYLE OF FICTIONAL MEDIA, though so far I am getting a lot of Books in my discord discussion.
My own may seem simplistic, and maybe childish, but Anna Sewell's Black Beauty had me questioning the social strata ALL AROUND me from a very young age, in the Deep South.
Prompt: #489 - Curse
Wednesday, April 8th, 2026 11:09 amYour response should be exactly 100 words long. You do not have to include the prompt in your response -- it is meant as inspiration only.
Please use the tag "prompt: #489 - curse" with your response.
Please put your drabble under a cut tag if it contains potential triggers, mature or explicit content, or spoilers for media released in the last month.
If you would like a template for the header information you may use this:
Subject: Original - Title (or) Fandom - Title
Post:
Title:
Original (or) Fandom:
Rating:
Notes:
If you are a member of AO3 there is a 100 Words Collection!